A Letter to Pat

Hello,

I just wanted to personally thank you for an incredible semester. I have never felt such a great feeling of discovery in my entire life because throughout the whole semester, I found myself in a state of deep self-exploration. Truly, I seemed to be constantly thinking about the topics that we discuss in class plus more out of class, but this didn’t sit well with me for a long period of time. I have already considered myself a great thinker before this class, so reevaluating everything that I have ever thought about gave me a great discomfort. During my transition to college, I was grasping a new sense of freedom and independence and with these came a whole new set of opportunities, ideas, and experiences that had never been exposed to me prior. Taking in everything at once made me feel uneasy at times, and I didn’t know what to do. I was having an identity crisis. I had a horrible time going back and forth between contradictory beliefs and ideas at that time, and I previously thought that I had come to terms with them. Revisiting this state of discomfort only took me deeper into my search for my own identity and what I believe to be my own explanation of the world. Nonetheless, it was extremely difficult for me to do this on my own because I felt like in order for me to find myself, I had to look for it by myself. I knew that if I wanted to call something as my own, I had to work for it on my own. It was a very lonely time. I wasn’t talking to as many people as I would have a few months ago. I wasn’t eloquent and concise with what I was saying (not that I ever was). I wasn’t as sociable as I was before. I just didn’t feel like the same person. At times, I saw myself as a very inadequate person. Other times, I saw a great and wonderful person ready to discover the world. However, going back and forth between these states led me to what I believe was depression. I could never admit to myself that I would ever be a depressed person, but overall, I really was. Beside the point, to me, these times of great sadness was an opportunity for me to find out what my life is about – why I’m still here. I guess I learned to make something great, you need to destroy it first and build it back up. So today, I’m here to tell you that I think that I have a greater understanding of who I am and what the world means to me. I have dabbled in as many political problems within these few months alone as I have my entire life. I have searched for answers so much more than I could remember. I have dedicated myself to read a lot more (including the Harvard Classics), and I owe a lot of this to you. Without your class, I don’t think I would have had the same experience of self-exploration as I did. I believe that you truly helped me find myself in the few moments that we talked and the many discussions that we had in class, which I still wish I could have contributed more than I did. Upon further reflection, I have grown so much in these past few months alone, but I believe that I have only begun this experience. I attribute the reignition and the continuation of this journey to you, so thank you.

Anyways, thank you again for a wonderful semester, and I hope that your future students will find the same journey within themselves like I have in your class (minus the depression).

Sincerely,

JP Mitra