Confederate Flag/Gay Pride Debate

It’s funny to me how these two controversial topics seem to have created one gigantic debate among people who are mere acquaintances as well as those who don’t even know each other. They just keep going back and forth, and it’s going nowhere. Maybe destroying potential friends and inducing hate but nothing constructive. It’s even riled me up to the point where I’ve been inclined to share my own opinion on the debate, and I was never intending to do so. Here’s my take on everything that has been going on.

By the way, this is pretty long, so if you want a summary of everything in this blog, just scroll down until you see ‘Summary:‘, but I still encourage you to read all of it.

First, I wanted to start with the definition of a very simple yet grand word, and I want you, the reader, to keep this in mind throughout the whole post because it is an important aspect in everything I’m about to say. Remember this:

Sonder – n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own

Now, I’ve even gone to using definitions and a quotation on this blog. This is getting serious.

As humans, we tend to forget that there are other humans around us, and I’m not talking in the general sense. Like seeing other people around you. I’m talking about the fact that they have different backgrounds as well as different opinions. However much this may vary from your own background and opinion determines if you will agree or not with him/her and ultimately challenge your tolerance on the many different views of the world. I don’t know if most people realize this, but no other person will see the world the way you see it. It may seem like someone beside you has the same perspective about many things, but both of you will ultimately experience different things, however slight, even with the same event, which leads to varying perspectives. So basically, you grew up different from everyone else.

Why do I say this? We need to understand that as soon as someone makes an opinion about a topic, it will be extremely difficult for that person to change his/her opinion, no matter how educated they are about the topic or how ignorant they are about the opinions of others. But my opinion is right? We all think our opinion is the right opinion. If you expect the other person to suddenly realize their ‘mistakes’ and say sorry, then I’ve got bad news for you. The only way I see for this problem to be alleviated from the debate is for us to understand why the other person thinks the way he or she does and to respect that. It doesn’t matter if your side is the ‘right side’ or the ‘truth’. Just realize that the other person has reason to argue, and they feel flustered enough to make a very strongly worded post on Facebook. Point: Respect other people’s opinions.

I haven’t even started to talk about either topic, and I’ve already written two full paragraphs! This IS gonna be a long post, but I digress. Anyways, just to lay down some foundation on everything else, I am not here to argue against any parties and opinions, but I am here to defend them. Which ones you ask? Keep reading.

With the debate about the confederate flag, the word ‘heritage’ seems to pop up a lot, but I don’t think many people realize the underlying meanings in using a word like that. I think that some really do defend their grandfathers who fought in the Civil War as Confederate soldiers, which I fully respect. To others, I think that they didn’t know a thing about the Confederate flag until it came into conversation, and they read every single article that talked about ‘The 9 Things You Didn’t Know About The Confederate Flag’ (But kudos to you if you had previous knowledge about it). Suddenly, every person debating became a historian specializing on the Confederate flag, and that doesn’t sit well with me. Saying ‘Know your history before you argue’ seems a little hypocritical to me when your very argument came from the same sources. To me, it really seems like most of the argument from both sides stems from the fact that the modernly recognized flag was not even used as the official flag of the Confederacy. One side saying it’s not racist that way, and the other saying why does it matter then.

It matters because even if the defending Southerners had no clue about what that flag represents to other non-defending people, they still grew up with it. I myself did not grow up with the Confederate flag, but I’ve seen enough people who did, and it means the world to them. Just imagine taking away the New York Yankees from New Yorkers or the San Francisco Bridge from San Franciscans? Franciscians? Francisipeople? Just imagine taking away these iconic figures from their attached cities, and expect their people to not care about it. Now, do the same with the Confederate flag. I can’t speak for everyone in the South, but what I do see is that this flag, this symbol represents pride from where they came from and what they grew up with, even if that means equally having the American flag fly beside it for some people. This flag definitely signifies something drastically different to other people, but it’s all part of the Southern culture. It’s all part of the society that they grew up in, and taking that away from them seems a little wrong to me.

This is where things get interesting. There is no denying the fact that the Confederate flag is unfortunately closely associated with racism due to the recent events in Charleston, and I pity the ones who make fun of joining the KKK or any insensitive jokes regarding the issue due to other recent events. C’mon guys. No one is laughing with you. Nine people died because of one racist murderer. The least you can do is respect their lives and their families who have to suffer from it. Back to the point, it is a fact that the flag was used in opposition to the Civil Rights Movement during the late 60s. It is true that there are racist people out there who just so happen to love the Confederate flag. But before you go accusing every supporter of the Confederate flag for being racist, realize the fact that there are plenty of other racist people out there who don’t support the flag as well as plenty of good people who do. So don’t call the flag’s supporters ignorant, racist, and homophobic. No one likes to be judged upfront. Only call the ignorant, racist, and homophobic as the true ignorants, racists, and homophobics.

But they’re taking my freedom of speech away?

If anything, it reinforces your freedom of speech. The fact that you can argue your stance on the subject without getting arrested is a pretty strong indication that your freedom of speech is intact. As for the flag itself, state officials do not need to fly the Confederate flag on government property. There’s already a flag to represent which country they’re from.

But the flag symbolizes a time when the South dehumanized an entire race?

Symbols can easily change in meaning quite rapidly. Hitler’s Swastika, though it did not derive from it, was also a symbol for Native Americans. Better known as the Swirling Log, it signified peace, order, and stability. Why don’t we do the opposite with the Confederate flag and give it a better meaning? Well, probably the same reason why we don’t see as much of the Swirling Log in Native American crafts anymore. It still has historical association to it. It’s a little hard to forget the millions of people who suffered from slavery. But that doesn’t mean we should ignore the other heart-felt interpretations placed on the flag today.

But no one cares?

There are millions of Americans debating about it. I’m pretty sure a lot of people care.

There is no one right answer to this. From what I’ve seen, all I can say is that Southerners can have a pretty strong opinion on things once you try to take something away from them or once things start to change, which is perfectly okay, but that is no reason to call them racists and bigots. No one likes to be accused of crimes that someone else did or be judged with ideals that someone else believes in. But some of these people very well might be racist or close-minded, so understand that that is how they grew up. There is not a lot of changing that. The best you can do at this point is to give them and their opinion the respect that you want from them. Oh, and for the sake of everything that is good, please don’t give the ‘I’ve got lots of gay friends’ or the ‘I saw plenty of black people supporting it’ argument because it really doesn’t help your case any. Just call them your friends and people. (More on Racism)

Onto gay marriage. The Bible is becoming more and more obsolete as we speak (I speak?). Less people are going to church. Less people give respect to those going to church. Less people are willing to hear the Word of God. However, this isn’t limited to non-church going individuals. Less people are willing to understand the Bible in its entirety. Less people are looking at the fundamental principle of the teachings of Jesus. Less people are willing to hear the Word of God. The only way that I can explain this is that religion is becoming more and more irrelevant to younger generations. This obviously excludes the ones who grew up with religion all of their lives, but more or less, there is a large group of people who have done away with religion. It may be because they have lost all hope by experiencing a troubled childhood growing up. It may be because they need something concrete to justify something that to many others does not need evidence. It may be because they feel left out of something that should be undoubtedly all-inclusive.

But none of this means that any of us are bad people, the religious and the non-religious alike. I believe that there is an inherent good in all of us, but having this is not enough. I think that we need to cultivate ourselves morally to make ourselves better people and a better society. To me, religion is a way for individuals to seek a deeper understanding of their purpose in life, their morality, and their humanity through a relationship with God. To some, it’s just worshiping a deity. To many others, it is substantially more than that. I think that it’s beautiful to see all of this diversity within society and still have it function. Maybe with a little more argumentation and debate than I’d hope, but it still functions nonetheless. Regardless of your personal beliefs, I think that religion should not be something that we try to sell unto others who do not believe. Rather, it should be something that is shared among those seeking the same understanding. It shouldn’t be forced on the ones that are afraid and the ones standing up to fight or to anyone for that matter. It should help those who seek for help, those who by your own example would want to live a similarly moral life.

So, can gay people marry or not? Well, this question is a little harder to answer for me because to tell you the truth, I don’t know. I don’t know if God is still denying them the right to live. I don’t know if I should disregard part of the Bible in favor of another. I don’t know if I should consider it a sin to be gay. What I do know is that they are humans just like the rest of us, and that they deserve to be able to do everything that we have the right to do. Calling it a ‘lifestyle’ infuriates me so much because this completely ignores all other possible answers to this question that as of 2015 is still without an answer. However, I am in favor of the idea that being gay is not genetic but inherent, not passed down but comes from somewhere else, and let me explain. I have seen enough people behind the closet being disowned by their parents, friends, and the people who oppose the thought of homosexuality. I don’t think that these people would want to intentionally be persecuted by the many others who also oppose homosexuality. I don’t think that they would sleep with the same sex if they were straight either. It doesn’t matter whether or not it’s immoral to be gay. What does matter is that we allow them to live their lives with the same opportunities, rights, and liberties as the rest of us, no matter if it is with another person of the same sex. So don’t defend gay marriage because ‘bigots’ are attacking it. Defend it because it is the right thing to do.

But they’re taking my freedoms away?

You are still able to share your opinion. If you’re worried about being persecuted, I don’t think receiving criticism is remotely close to persecution. Being historically tortured and being denied of rights is. However, it’s tough to say the same thing with religion. If your religion denies the unalienable rights of hundreds of thousands of people to do something that anyone else could, then it might be a good idea to reevaluate your core fundamentals and your morality.

But it’s just their lifestyle?

There is no definite answer to this question. For my opinion, however, please refer to the past few paragraphs above.

But I think it’s gross?

Of course you’re gonna think it’s gross. You’re probably straight. I don’t think you were meant to like another person of the same sex. And I say probably because there are studies that suggest homophobic people are actually gay themselves. If you think it’s gross for two people to love each other without judgement, then it might be a good idea to reevaluate your core fundamentals and your morality.

But I want to let them know about their sin?

Again, there is no definite answer to this question. However, I know that you will only shy away other people if you try to force an ideology on them that they’re not willing to accept. Or they might fight you. Either way, I don’t think it’s right to give the argument that ‘I have gay friends, but I know that what they do is wrong’. That’s like saying ‘I have a black friends, but I’m actually racist towards them’. Take this with a grain of salt. It’s a rudimentary comparison.

But what about the children?

There are plenty of other children that grow up without a moral compass through traditional marriage. Gay people are humans, too. If there’s any way that a gay couple will mess up someone’s childhood, it will not be due to their marital status but because they were bad people. There are tons of traditional couples who already neglect their children. It possibly might be the same case with a few gay couples, but raising a child involves two parent figures who support the child in every step of his or her development. I don’t see why the criteria would be any different for gay couples nor would the results be any different.

But what about those who don’t respect Christianity?

I can’t argue with you on this one. Desecrating a sacred institution with millions of followers doesn’t seem right to me.

There is no one right answer to this subject either. This one is a little harder to deal with than the Confederate flag. There are differing opinions on these topics, but at least the flag has recent history behind it plus it is a physical object. The gay marriage debate delves more into the morality of every single human being and questions the internal dilemma that many others face today. I know that what I have said is within the lines of redefining sin, but why should we condemn people when they have committed none. I believe that the Bible does have its historic value as well. It’s just a little bit past the Civil War. It is hard to overlook a book about morality that has been around for thousands of years. Anyways, if my personal morality and the Bible does not agree with each other, I will most likely go in favor of my morality because I don’t think it would be right to stone someone to death nor do I think that it is still relevant to sacrifice a goat for God. And I think that the Bible is becoming obsolete in this sense also. Nevertheless, there are still many lessons to be learned from it. Love thy neighbor is a pretty good one. I’m not saying that I am a historian on the Bible. I’m just saying that from the fraction that I have read, I have been inspired to be a better person with God’s guidance and set an example to others (More on Religion, More on Sexuality).

So, just to recap.

Summary:

Here’s my take on everything that has been going on. Remember this: Sonder – n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own. You grew up different from everyone else. Respect other people’s opinions. One side saying it’s not racist that way, and the other saying why does it matter then. It matters because that’s what they grew up with. It means the world to them. It’s all part of the society that they grew up in, and taking that away from them seems a little wrong to me. There is no denying the fact that the Confederate flag is unfortunately closely associated with racism. Realize the fact that there are plenty of other racist people out there who don’t support the flag as well as plenty of good people who do. No one likes to be judged upfront. There is no one right answer to this. The Bible is becoming more and more obsolete as we speak. I believe that there is an inherent good in all of us, but having this is not enough. To me, religion is a way for individuals to seek a deeper understanding of their purpose in life, their morality, and their humanity through a relationship with God. It should help those who seek for help, those who by your own example would want to live a similarly moral life. I don’t know if I should consider it a sin to be gay. What I do know is that they are humans just like the rest of us, and that they deserve to be able to do everything that we have the right to do. There is no one right answer to this.

It seems like I’ve written a book! So much for just a hobby. Only if I could do this with all of my college papers. And if you’re still confused on who I’m defending, it’s all of them, because everyone is right in their own way. Everyone has a reason to believe whatever it is that they believe in, and I think that this is beautiful. It challenges us to question other people’s beliefs as well as our own. It teaches us information when our initial education failed to do so as well as show us the many other world views that we would have never learned otherwise. It shows us that we have the right to voice out our opinion because the world can be a scary place when we can’t, and I am very thankful for that. So if you take anything away from this, remember to respect the people around you, no matter how ignorant, uneducated, liberal, or conservative you think they are. Be the better more understanding person. Only heaven knows what they went through as a kid. Now that the dust has cleared, let’s go attack Obama for making one world government (Keep Reading: Appreciation, Envisioning A World Of Pacifism, The Education System)

Side note: This has been very difficult for me to write altogether not because of the length (I’m not a very eloquent writer). It’s difficult for me because many of my different worlds conflict with each other. My opinions might seem naive and not so collected or straightforward because I take into consideration every single argument placed on the table and see if I can logically make sense of it. I take out the ones that doesn’t fit with my logic, and I think about those that challenge it. I’m not trying to sound highly of myself. I really don’t. It’s just the way that my mind processes information. It’s who I am. If you need to know a little bit of more background about me, then I suggest that you read this.